The best of times...

There is a line in a song by Jimmy Eat World that goes - 'I'll tell you something else that you ain't dying enough to know; there's still some living left when your prime comes and goes'. Another one that sticks in my head is a line from a very old John Mellencamp song - 'oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone'... Who decides when your prime begins and ends? and I believe that the thrill of living should never be gone.

When I was in high school, I was often told to "enjoy this time, these are the best years of your life." What A Load of CRAP. My high school years were a painful beginning to an aventurous life for sure; but the best years of my life? Not even close. There were memorable pockets that I cherish, but the overall feel was about getting the hell out of there so I could get to the business of 'the real world'. I don't mind the occasional road trip back in time but I certainly do not dwell in that place.

Unfortunately, I know a lot of people who live in the past. They are so busy lamenting about the things that have long since gone - that they forget to focus on the now. It breaks my heart to see that, because life happens daily. New memories can be carved out of every moment you pay attention to, so you can keep adding them to your collection. Those fat old men who sit around griping about their football glory years, the washed up prom queens who bitterly avoid the mirror, those sad people with houses that are shrines to the past; you guys are really missing out.

I used to get stuck on my road trips back; the thing that ties me to specific points in time is music. I have folders on my computer where the music is divided out by what year it reminds me of. I would put on one song, then another, then another: and next thing you know I'm completely trapped in 1985. It was all about my life 'before'. Before my brother died, before my mom died, before my divorce, before before before. I was really miserable and thought 'wow this is it? this is as good as it gets?'. Lucky for me - I somehow moved past that way of thinking and grew into someone who finally figured out how to stay in the now: and keep the now fresh.

I've come to believe that 'the best of times' happen in pockets throughout your entire life, and if you're truly paying attention - they happen a lot more frequently than you'd think. Life ebbs and flows, people get caught up in routines and ruts. They feel a longing for something new or some excitement; but rather than creating a new situation, they resort to the old standby; 'Remember that one time when'. I refuse to do that. Your prime ends when you decide it's over. The thrill of living comes from what you continue to make of your life - not by how old you are or the things you've already done. I intend to continue doing the things that keep my life fresh for as long as I'm physically able to. (And then I'll find something else!)